sudahlah

you know what beb?
sudahlah!

sudah berapa kali malam aku harus yang insiatif mengajak hingga memohon untuk sekedar menemaniku keluar. duduk menikmati malam dan sekedar mengobrol diluar sekre?

sudah capek..

selalu ada alasan sayang..
selalu sulit , selalu tak mau..
malas kan kamu..

dan aku tak bisa memaksamu!
aku yang mengalah. pergi sendiri..

ya. aku baper

pergilah sayang.
aku tak apa.
aku tak ingin peduli lagi.
aku capek

kamu seperti biasa selalu siap siaga punya waktu untuknya.

sudahlah..

mereka melihatmu "setengah hati" katanya..

entahlah. entah

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

hollow

I've been sruggling with my commitment with you. There is so many thing im not sure of.  So many disappointment and dissatisfied.  I thought for a long time to leave us. You.  But meeting you. Talking with you. Asking your opinion.  When im down. When im happy. Even after everything. After many second thought. You're still that precious person in my life. The person who always been there. Trying your best to stand by me. Take care of me. My best friend. Be travel buddy, my rocks for so many years. Then why.. When i finally begin to hope again. Maybe it really not meant to be.  Why the hollow when you said 'you are not ready', when you talk about your family opinion. Im in Bekasi, Jakarta.  You are in Purwokerto.  I understand. Even if it hurts. 
Read more

a long time needed journey

Hello..  This is my first post after so long. Its been a while isn't it? Time. Life gone so fast when you dont acknowledge it. And when you realize,  Its been days.  Weeks.  Months.  Years.  Decade. Now, im on a Train to Bandung. Its been so long since I've been in one. In one long-distance trip Long distance Train journey Its been so long I just realize that i missed it.  I always love to go on a trip since im still a child Short or long distance, doesn't really matter. Wherever my father or my grandpa brought me along on their old motorcycle. Its a pleasure i always held. Maybe thats the root of my Wanderlust and Adventurous soul.  The need to go on a trip.  A lust to wander around.  The thing that had been suppressed since i go back home, to live with my parent in Bekasi.  Since once again i felt like the burden of the world. Of my family livehood rest on my shoulder.  Its heavy.  So heavy.  Painful to even breath....
Read more

now i know

' Fit, kamu adalah rumah yang nyaman. Sangat nyaman.  Kamu tidak pernah membuatku menangis. Lalu kau pergi..  Tapi maaf aku harus pergi. Itu katamu..  Aku harus menata lagi hidupku.  Bersamamu aku terlalu nyaman.  Akan selalu membuatku ingin bersandar.  Padahal aku sedang perlu berbenah hidup. Dulu, aku tak percaya itu.  Bagiku tulisanmu kali itu terlalu manis tapi mengiris. Bullshit.  Ku kira kamu berbohong. Alasan saja untuk pergi. Untuk dia..  6 Tahun telah berlalu sejak masa itu bang. Aku yang sekarang tidak seutuhnya sama seperti Fitri yang kamu kenal dulu.  Banyak asem manis pahit kehidupan yang aku lalui.  Now i know. What you feel.  What you mean.  Aku mengerti keadaanmu saat itu.  Aku pernah dan sedang merasakannya kini.  The urge to reset your life.  To be able to stand by yourself.  Karna ketika ada sandaran, fitri seringnya manja.  Hidup ini berat.  Kadang aku berharap Ksatria kuda...
Read more