the fault on my way of think

You are born as a Free Man, Not possesion to be owned!

yeah..
I realize the mistake of my own ..

You are born to this world as a Free human being, live your life till this day by your own. So yeah,, you and i, as a human, is not and must not be possession to be owned by the other. we are free to choose and pursue, decide how our life will take pace.

I would be hypocrite, if i dare said gave you freedom of your own, but still thinking that you are mine. No. How foolish and hypocrite i am.

You are your own person. a free man.
You are the one who choose talk and befriend me, get friendly and take a leapt, explore the depth and expand our boundary of friendship. You are the one who choose sit beside me and listen to my babbling about life, about school, about the world, about the mistake and flaw of my own, You choose to stay, even after you know that some of our conversation is just a nonsense non-practical fact, even when no one asked you to staying still, you choose to dont go anywhere.
You are the one who have a said to steer the beginning of  our relationship, must we hold ourselve and stay just be the best friend god offer for me, or take serious and dangerous and unpredictable way to be more than that, to lose ourselve in this madness called love.

even when storm after storm cloud our pathway. yeah you have your own doubt and reluctance to go ahead.. but even i dont understand sometime 'why?' you choose to stay still and come back to my side. and i would just grace you with ridiculous eye 'Unbelievable' then smile nontheles afterthat.

and I am is I am. My very own person. a free human being who born to this world complete with my amazing, strength, flaw and mistake that i get on my life.

I was the one who just tired and want to rest for awhile after get my heart break again and again by the other man who i thought worthy enough to be cared for. If they said iam player cause jump to him then to you.. they are wrong! I never intend to trick you to be my next victim, seriously..

You just there at that time, babe.. you are the only person that stay true as yourselve and not seeing me in sympathy eyes. You know how is it i hate to be look down and seems weak. I appreciate it so much, im grateful to still have a normality and get my own version of best friend and brother in one package body that is you.. i fear for my own fragile heart, what if i fall for you after this.. then i would get my own demon cycle of man. damn! I fight my own desire, and keep telling my self that you are god gift to bring me stand back again, enough, just enjoy that you get a new best bro fit!

when i feel something is going different way on our friendship, i notice, but keep ignorant. I dont want to that easily opened my heart then break again. Duh! But your attentive and gentle gesture toward me, your honest and bluntness and tackless mouth, your bright, and well-read, and rasional way of think, You just being your normal way, and i enjoy it with you. our banter, our nonsense discussion, our touchy and careless to be pillow or blanket for each other need. I know in the end you still touch my frozen heart.. you pick and fix my broken pieces of body to stand back again. You get me.

but in the end it still my decision to open up to you, to let you in, get to know you, let you fix me then place your self on my heart. i let you be. and its my own decision. not for you. but for my self. you asked me to be selfish and be happy. and i listen, i live it! I let you in me, let my self drown by you, in this ocean of madness called love, all because i was selfish and for once i wanna and brave enough to brace my own happiness.

And i was the person who choose and dame you worthy enough to be grace by title 'my only special one'.. become important and place a new priority on my plate. i take all the blame. it's my own.

but my eyes and senses got cloudy and blinded..
I forgot..
I loose my self on this euphoria of loving you.
I got more selfish, more jealous, more clingy, needy, and to much asking your presence..
I gather you as 'Mine'..

and it's a fault in my way of think.
You are human. my special man. You are not a possession, so i never really could claim you as my own property. I couldn't.

You and I.. We have our own freedom and chance to meet all the world offer for us. all decision is still on our own hand.

Yeah, I have you. and you have me.. but we must dont forget that we are free men. our own person. You are more than just title "Fitri's Man", and I am more than just nicked "Rio's woman" .. No. we are made to be more than that. we are unique, special and great by our own not just because the other person.

So yeah, I have you now, but you still your own free man.

and even if shit happen, and we must go our separate way.. we are free to choose to stay still or go ahead walk away from each other. it our own decision, its our freedom.. and i know then, i would never really loose you and you would not really lose me.. we still have each other,