Held me close beib, or i would fly and get caught by air

I am a mess..

Tonight really feel like shit.

I dont know why i feel so unappreciated so much by you babe. You, the one person that i held the most.

I dont know what is it that cross your mind when i just go by like that.. feeling low? Dissapointed? Annoyed? I dont know.. and you know what i dont fucking care..

You got me babe..
You just hurt me once again without you even realize..

am i being too needy for you? Is it too much if i just wanna spend a day by your side, talk and doing nonsense.. Our quality time.. too heal the old wound.. fixs some wrongdoing in Our Bond.

Damn in babe..

I just..
I dont know..

Am i being too much if i want to be just yours only one..? Answer me..
If for ever, it would always be like this, i would not be enough for you. ?

How long must i stand by being your saveheaven when it too much to handle facing her? I hate too seeing you being a mess.. i promise you, i would always be there.. yeah i know.. but it hurts babe.
It too much.. too see how much care, time, and thought you spend focus on her. And being blind to the world for awhile.. and you just not be there when i am who being a mess for my own problem. When i get down. You are not there.. you don't see it babe.. your eyes too focus too keep her happy by your other side.

Until i dont know again.. what actually am i doing by your side right now, if your eyes, mind and body is not there.. if you still couldn't dettach yourself from her. What am i really doing here? I dont know anymore..

For as long as I Live.. i just know how is it being kicked, being dumped, being alone, always the second or last.. i dont know how to treat people right.. never. Never one who held me at high regard as something important.

Im being ego? Yes i am..

All my life is spend too serve other people need and happiness.. i lost that innocent to play around as a child from very young age. I know i never being wanted..

Is it wrong if for once i want to be selfish? Keep you just for me..
You, who my world become revolved around.. you who doing shit thing and keep disrepect me by your own need to stay and keep her around. Dont you ever realize how damn hurt is it for me? To know that even if for once i get you, the one who i care so much and maybe caring Back for me.. i dont Have the strength to keeping you. That i would become the second again, that i am not enough. That maybe forever i would just be your runaway home from her.

I am too fragile beib..

Kamu ingin menjaganya disampingmu seterusnya? Aku ga bisa ay..

Bagiku komitmen ini buat 2 orang aja. Harusnya kamu sudah belajar perlahan melepaskannya.. kamu harus tegas sayang. Kamu ga bisa memiliki semuanya. Kamu harus membiarkan ia belajar lepas dari ketergantungan nya akanmu. Kamu harus biarkan dia nemuin kebahagiaannya lewat orang lain. Tempat yang kamu mau usaha apapun tapi nyatanya dia tak mau berubah untukmu kan?

Aku ga bisa kalau kamu minta selamanya selalu jadi kedua.. atau dibayangi ia sayang. Aku terlalu posesif dan insecure.

Aku bukan jelous woman, but what mine is mine. Or are you wanne be opensource? So every people could access you ?

Aku ga akan bisa kalau kamu minta selamanya bertahan di posisi ini. Stuck ga tau mau apa.. ga bebas mau apa karna takut dia tahu dan marah? Heeeyyy.. Desya benar. Kekasihmu itu siapa sebenarnya sayang?

Am i just wasting time beib?
Are you still confidence you deserve me, worth my time.. my heart.. my presence?

Im too precious too keep you disrepect like this..

So much out there men or women who crave my caring time..

I deserve to be happy ay..

Am i wrong to choose and believe in you beib?

Assure me again beib, please!
If you think this is, what we Have worth it.

Held me close beib. Cause right now Im too sloppy.. too light-headed.  So easy to just walk away and fly leaving you behind. And not looking Back again.

Be strong enough beib.. if you really want me by your side.. be strong enough to tell me that yeah i am being wanted and loved, be strong enough to just show and prove your word beib.. or be strong enough to let me go, and seeing me be loved and treat better by someone else..